CorrectionsTheFallOfTheEnlightenment.Corrections HistoryHide minor edits - Show changes to output October 02, 2011, at 10:17 PM
by -
Added line 4:
** Rewrote descriptions of other characters in prose. Changed lines 8-16 from:
to:
** merged "very assertive", etc. under Sheffield with earlier descriptions of self. ** made descriptions of other characters gender-neutral. * Sheffield: ** removed reference to king ** Changed debtor's prison to workhouse (my bad). * Smith: ** Made nature of attack in message more specific. ** Reordered fatalist interjections a bit. Changed line 21 from:
** Shorten paragraph about father and navy; put in something to make it clearer how arrogant he is? to:
** Shorten paragraph about father and October 02, 2011, at 09:33 PM
by -
Added lines 1-14:
'''DONE:''' * Everywhere: ** Cooper an able seaman, not a private. * Winchester: ** removed first name ** shortened intro to ship incident. '''TODO:''' * Everywhere: ** Decide on exact circumstances of battle aftermath -- near mainland / island, etc., and put in background or make consistent in character sheets * Winchester: ** Shorten paragraph about father and navy; put in something to make it clearer how arrogant he is? ** should be civillian / not an admiral? ** was s/he in charge on the ship / the one to give the order to abandon? |